by Laura Munkholm
Have you ever been in a yoga class, and felt weepy? Maybe in a long pigeon pose, or in savasana? You are definitely not alone. It has been my week for tears. It is certainly not the first time, and won’t be the last, but it always brings a feeling of unease and vulnerability.
Is everyone noticing me? Do they think I am crazy? Thank God I have taught enough classes to know that most of us go through it at one point or another, so there is nothing to be ashamed of. It is easy to forget these occurrences as I typically LOVE each yoga class. My body and mind feel free and full of bliss. A teacher once said to me that yogis become sensation junkies. We are completely addicted to feeling our bodies open. We just sometimes forget that we have to let the emotions open as well. As we move through yoga asana, we move energy in our bodies. We literally move emotions through our cells. The hope is that the negative emotions and/or energy are released and don’t become stuck in our cells creating illness, stress and ultimately mental instability. I have learned enough in my practice to know that when I start feeling that tightness in my throat and the tears starting to well up, I have to simply release and let it happen. It never gets easy, but I urge you to do the same. A yoga class is one of the safest places to let it out. Your instructor and fellow students will surely have the same experience eventually, if they haven’t already.
So, what has me weeping like a baby? Answers. It occurred to me yesterday, that I don’t have the answers. Believe me, it is not the first time I’ve come to this conclusion, but it seemed groundbreaking at the moment. I (as well as many of you) put so much pressure on myself to know exactly what to do next. Of course there is the obligatory advice seeking with my friends and husband, but at the end of the day, I usually rely on myself to make the appropriate choice.
When do I really give myself permission to accept that I DONT KNOW THE ANSWER?! Rarely. And, on top of that, doing so without judgement…HA, never. Yesterday I found myself thinking, “How can I get through feeling inauthentic in a career, being a new mom, balancing time with friends and my husband, and also teaching/practicing yoga?” Right now, I really have no idea. And, that is ok. At the end of the day, my life is incredible, and I am grateful for each moment. But, that doesn’t mean that some of those moments feel hopeless, stuck and frustrated. We all get this way, so why beat myself up about it?
Today, my practice is to ask for help, to accept that I don’t know all the answers, to welcome that feeling, and move through it without guilt. I will let the tears flow when they come knocking, and see where it takes me. So, next time you see or hear someone sobbing through savasana, send a little love and compassion their way. We all need it.
Laura Munkholm teaches Prenatal Flow at 10:45am every Saturday. Laura’s prenatal classes offer gentle yoga options as well as an opportunity for women to flow and move in their bodies to create the strength they need for their birthing day.